A Valentines Day Scheme
by futureauthor13
Summary: The reservations had been made, the tickets were in his wallet, he was wearing his best, cleanest lab coat and everything was right on schedule. ...This year was going to be different. Oneshot. Perryshmirtz fluff with hints of other pairings.


**Yeah, I know this is like a month early, but I was inspired by a P&F valentine I saw at Wal-Mart yesterday. I just had to write this. Hope you like! **

Everything was set. The reservations had been made, the tickets were in his wallet (he checked probably five times in the last two minutes), he was wearing his best, cleanest lab coat and everything was right on schedule. Now all he had to do was wait for him to show up...

*Snap!*

The german, evil scientist smiled. As much as he enjoyed their battle with roses, chocolates and other valentine things last year, this year was going to be different.

Turning on his heal, Doofenshmirtz walked into his living room. Sitting on the floor, trapped in a net that shot out from a heart-shapped box that said 'Be My Nemesis', was Perry the Platypus. Standing right behind him was Norm, making sure the platypus couldn't escape.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus," Doof said, giving him a slightly evil grin, "I see you found your present." He chuckled. "Now, I'm sure you're wondering what scheme I have for today. Well, actually, I don't have one. No -inators, no minions, nothing evil!"

Perry raised an eyebrow. No schemes? There had to be a catch. "But mind you, that doesn't mean I don't have plans." Here comes the awkward part. Doof felt himself start to get nervous. "You see, Perry the Platypus, I saw on the internet that more people than me don't have dates, but sometimes if they're alone on Valentine's Day, they go on a sort of 'Friends D-...Outing' with one of their friends. And I figured, since we're kinda friends..."

Actually, to Doof, they were more than 'kinda friends'. Perry was his nemesis, but also his best friend. Or rather, his only friend. He definitely didn't consider Roger or Rodney his friend, and Norm was programmed to like him, so Perry was it. But Doof was almost certain Perry didn't feel the same way. The platypus was all about business most of the time, and that kind of annoyed Doof at times. But at least he was a good listener.

"So, what do you say, Perry the Platypus?" Doof asked, giving him a small smile. Perry gave him a 'Really?' look. Doof's smile turned into a scowl. "What? Why can't we just spend the night together, Perry the Platypus? I've made reservations at a restaurant, got us tickets to a comedy show, and then I figured we could go to the park or something afterwards. Besides, you're trapped, so you might as well..."

Perry then lifted up a tiny pair of scissors. "Oh... Well, even if you're not trapped, I bet you don't have plans tonight either! And besides, no one wants to spend Valentines Day alone." As he said this, the doctor was looking sadly at the floor. He looked back up at the platypus. "What do you say, Perry the Platypus? If we do this tonight, I promise I'll make something truly evil tommorow. Please?"

Perry rolled his eyes, thought about it for a moment, and then nodded his head. Doof instantly perked up. "Really! Oh, thank you Perry the Platypus!" He quickly ran over to the monotreme agent and lifted the net off him. He then grabbed his arm and dragged him to the door.

"Let's go, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz grabbed his keys and his coat, and opened the door. "Norm, clean up around here while we're gone!"

"Okay, Sir!" Norm replied cheerfully, "Enjoy you're date!"

"I-It's not a date!" Doof shouted, turning a little pink, "It's just an outing between friends!" With that he slammed the door. He looked down at the platypus and saw him smirking. "What are you smiling at?" Doof asked, giving the agent a glare.

()()()()()()()()()

Doof had to call like a month in advance to get a reservation at Chez Badger, and he had to pay a pretty penny to get a table on Valentine's Day. But he didn't really mind. He would be spending Valentines with someone. He wasn't fighting them, and even though it wasn't a date, he was still with someone. Definitely a big self-esteem boost.

After arguing with the waiter about how do say his name, Doof and Perry were finally sat down at a table. Perry had to get a booster seat to be tall enough to reach the table. It was actually kinda cute. The rest of the restaurant had good atmosphere too. It was filled with rose centerpieces and candles, perfect for romance.

As Doof looked at the menu, he noticed several couples staring at him and his nemesis. "What?" he asked, "haven't you ever seen a guy eat dinner with a platypus before?"

"No." "No." "Nope." "Well, once in the park."

Deciding it would be best to ignore the gawkers, Doof looked over at Perry. "So Perry the Platypus, what are you going to order?" Perry gave him an irritated look. "What? Oh! That's right, you don't know! Well, I invented this!" He pulled a small laser out of his coat pocket. "Behold, the Platypus-Food-Inator!"

Perry blinked. "You see, using this I can turn any food into platypus food that you can buy in the store, only it doesn't taste like platypus food, it taste like the original food it was! So, you can eat it and still enjoy the taste."

Perry actually looked impressed and Doof wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a ghost of a smile on Perry's bill. But the playpus then hid his face behind the menu. After a few minutes, they were ready to order. Perry had gotten the grilled chicken salad, while Doof got the lasanga.

The food actually came out pretty quickly. Doof shot the salad with the Platypus-food-inator, and Perry tried a bite. "So Perry the Platypus, what do you think?" Perry smiled bigger this time, and gave Doof a thumbs up. Doof smiled back. "I'm glad you liked it."

Starting to feel himself blush again, he turned his attention to his meal. 'Stop acting like some lovesick teenager, Heinz,' he told himself as he tried to cut a persistant piece of cheese. But still, he couldn't help it. It was rare for someone to like or be impressed by one of his inventions. And for Perry to like it and not want to destroy it, for his invention to make the platypus happy, it was actually kind of nice.

The two nemesises couldn't very well have a normal dinner conversation, so Doof just did all the talking, telling the platypus whatever was on his mind. He tried to keep himself from mentioning any Valentines related backstories, he would save those for next year. As Doof kept babbling on, Perry kept listening. He was always a good listener. The people sitting around Doof thought he was crazy, talking to an animal as if it could understand English.

But Doof didn't even notice them.

"Well, Perry the Platypus, I suppose we should get going if we want to make the show," said Doof, looking at his watch. Perry nodded. Doof paid for the meal, and the two started to walk outside. As they did, Doof grabbed Perry's hand and held it. Perry stopped, and gave Doof a look.

"What, I have to keep you from escaping!" Doof thought quickly. Perry yanked his hand away. "Fine, have it your way!"

()()()()()()()()()

It was actually a pretty good set up. Using the Danville Ampitheatre, these kids set up a small comedy show and then they were going to show a romantic comedy movie.

But as the two got closer, Doof noticed Perry almost hide behind him. "Come on Perry the Platypus," Doof said, rolling his eyes a little, "I know you've got the whole secret agent thing going on, but I think you can relax for one night."

That said, Perry still stayed behind Doof. Wanting his nemesis to relax, Doof picked a spot up in the very top row, a row that was almost hidden in the shadows. "There, I picked a place where no one can see us," Doof explained, "Now can you relax, Perry the-..?"

The platypus was gone. Doof looked all around but didn't see a single fedora or beaver tail in the crowd. "He ditched me!" The mad scientist couldn't believe it. "And after I paid for his dinner and picked a place far away from the stage just for him! He just goes and-! ...*Sigh.*" Doof sat down. "Well, what do I care? I don't! He can leave, I'll just spend Valentines Day by myself...again."

He looked at all the happy couples in the crowd. Heck, there were even a few couples on stage, some triangle headed kid with a black haired girl, and an Indian boy with a girl in a Fireside Girls uniform. Everyone had someone. Doof thought he had someone, but...

"I guess I was wrong," Doof said, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Krkrkrkrkrkr." Doof's eyes widened, and he looked up. He looked right into a pair of chocolate brown eyes. "Perry the Platypus!" the mad scientist shouted happily, "You're back! You didn't ditch me!"

Perry rolled his eyes, as if to say "Of course I didn't you big goof,". He then held out a bucket of popcorn.

"Oh! Right, guess you can't have a movie without popcorn," said Doof, feeling a little silly. He scooted over a little, and Perry sat down next to him. "You can eat popcorn, Perry the Platypus?" Perry nodded. "Oh, well that's good, because I didn't really want to eat platypus food, even if it did taste like popcorn." He then reached into the bucket and grabbed a small handful of buttery popcorn.

After a few minutes, the comedy show started. For being a little too young to be comedians, these kids were really good and really funny. The crowd laughed at every joke, and while Perry couldn't laugh, Doof heard him give a happy growl everytime there was a good joke.

"Man, that kid with the green hair is hilarious!" Doof commented. Perry nodded in agreement. The triangle headed kid then came back on stage and introduced the movie. Doof had heard of the movie before, but had never seen it. He stuck to movies in the science fiction and action genre, with the occasional documentary or musical.

The movie was about these two people who start off hating each other, but eventually become best friends and then fall in love. During the parts were the two people were arguing or playfully teasing each other, Doof couldn't help but think of himself and Perry. 'I wonder if he's thinking the same thing,' Doof wondered.

After the movie, the two nemesises exited with everyone else. Since the crowd was so thick, Perry wasn't quite as paranoid as before. "So Perry the Platypus, how did you enjoy the movie?"

"Krkrkrkrkrkrkr."

"Yeah, yeah I thought it was pretty good too," Doof agreed, "You know, you and I should go to the movies more often. It's actually kinda nice going with someone. Do you ever go to the movies with other people?"

Perry waited a moment, and then shook his head. "You don't?" Doof asked in disbelief, "I figured you would be popular enough to get a da- a friend to go to the movies with you." Doof then remembered Perry's job. "Oh, I get it, secret agent right?"

Perry nodded. Sure, he could go to the movies with an animal agent, but after a day of work they all just wanted to go see their host families. No one had time to go to the movies. As for Monogram and Carl, well, they were nice but Perry didn't think they would make good company.

"Well, I guess we're both in the same boat," Doof said sadly, "but hey! Maybe I can make a Movie-transportinator and get movies to show in my apartment! I know you would have to destroy it but, maybe before you do we can use it to watch a movie together or something."

Perry didn't say anything, but Doof saw another small smile from his nemesis.

Since it would be the fastest way to get to DEI, Perry and Doof walked down the path that went through the park. The snow sparkled in the light of the full moon, giving the park a very peaceful mood. There were other couples walking in the snow, holding hands and staying close to one another.

Doof got a twinge of jealousy, but then remembered he had someone too. 'I'll probably get a punch in the face for this,' Doof thought, 'But...' Doof reached out his hand towards the teal colored, furry hand next to him, but before he could grab it, it grabbed him.

"Huh?" Doof said, surprised at what had happened, "Really Perry the Pla-?"

Perry stopped him, and raised his index finger. "I know, just tonight," said Doof. With that, the platypus continued walking and continued holding Doof's hand.

'His fur is actually kinda soft,' Doof thought. But he then mentally slapped himself. 'Stop it!' He tried to imagine he was holding the hand of Charlene or one of his other ex-girlfriends. But every single time, that girl turned into Perry the Platypus. And after a while, Doof just stopped trying, and just enjoyed the walk home.

Soon (Too soon in Doof's opinion), the two arrived at Doofenshmirtz' Evil Incorperated. They let go of each other's hands. "Well, this was nice huh?" Doof said, a little awkwardly, "Uh, thanks."

Perry gave a small nod. "I guess you'll be heading home, right Perry the Platypus?" Perry nodded again. "Well, alright then." He then smiled. "But just remember, this doesn't change anything. Tomorrow I'm going to do something really evil! Just you wait, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry smirked, as if to say "I wouldn't have it any other way." He then tipped the bill of his hat, and began to walk away.

"Happy Valentines Day, Perry the Platypus!" Doof shouted as the platypus walked away. Doof watched him walk, and didn't go inside until he could no longer see Perry.

After spending the night with Perry, the empty elevator seemed kinda lonely. And as the elevator rose, Doof's mood fell.

"Good evening, Sir!" Norm said happily when his 'father' entered the apartment.

"How was your evening?"

"It was, nice. It was nice, Norm," Doof answered truthfully, "I'm going to bed."

"I put your package on the table." Doof stopped, and turned around.

"What package?"

"The package Perry the Platypus put on your couch before he got trapped," Norm answered.

"Well, why didn't you tell me!"

"My appologies, Sir." Doof rolled his eyes, muttering something like "annoying robot" as he walked to the kitchen. When he saw what was there, he almost couldn't believe it. There was a box of almond brittle, and next to it was a bouquet of yellow roses.

"Roses?" Doof thought out loud, "and candy?" These were gifts people give their dates. Did that mean...?

"Yellow roses mean 'friendship'," Norm explained. Doof deflated a little.

'Well, it still means that he thinks of me as a friend,' Doof thought with a smile. He picked up the roses, and read the note on it.

_Happy Valentines Day_

_Your Nemesis,_

_- P_

"It was actually really thoughtful of him," Doof thought, "But now I kinda wish I gave him something. I mean, something that wasn't a trap." As the mad scientist looked at the roses, one in the middle caught his eye. It was yellow, but they also had a red tint to it, as if it were changing from yellow to red.

"Aw, that's nice," Norm commented.

"What do you mean?"

"Yellow roses with red coloring means 'Friendship turning into love'," Norm answered. Doof practically dropped the roses right there.

'Friendship falling in love'? Did Perry know that? Did he do it on purpose? Did he even know about the rose, it was kind of hidden. So many questions! Doof growled.

"You're broken!" he shouted, "I'm going to bed!" He then grabbed his gifts, and quickly retreated to his bedroom.

"Goodnight Dad!"

"And I am not your father!"

As Doofenshmirtz sat on his bed, he couldn't take his eyes of the rose in the center of his bouquet. Norm's words were still echoing in his head. The scientist scowled.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus," he mumbled as he laid down under the covers. But even so, the red and yellow rose was the last thing Doof saw before drifting into a peaceful and enjoyable sleep, despite the horns of all the boats outside.

**These two are just so cute X3 Please review (I hope this was good), and happy early Valentines day! Also, if you caught the Futurama reference, you win a cookie! **


End file.
